Chapter 1 - Once it starts rolling...
He studied himself carefully in the mirror. Slicked-back hair? Check. T-shirt with a picture of a tuxedo on it? Cheeeck. Man, was he one smooth dude. He strutted around his room, feeling confident and cool. He was so going to get laid tonight.
It was almost showtime; 7 o' clock. Now, as soon as he could think of a way to ditch that b4mV dude...heh, perfect! Once inside Taco Bell, he can excuse himself to the bathroom, call b4mV's cell phone, and pretend to be his mother! What a great idea!
The rented limousine pulled up to the crowded trailer park. As G_B stepped up to the automobile, the driver slowly rolled down his window and eyed him carefully. "Are you sure this guy's with you?" he asked incredulously. A voice from the back agreed that yes, unfortunately, he was to ride with them. The door was opened for him, and he climbed in. There, in the backseat, was the most gorgeous woman that G_B had ever set his eyes on. He loved everything she did - from the way she sucked on pickles, to the way she pushed him off whenever he asked for a hug. She was perfect.
Tonight, he would have her.
It was a long and bumpy ride to the mall. The car was silent, except for the humorless driver flipping through radio stations on a low volume. Everyone felt slightly awkward, and didn't make much eye contact with anyone else in the car. Finally, to the passengers' relief, the limo pulled up to the mall. The kids got out. The driver tipped his hat, and drove away. "So, who's hungry?" said G_B, cheerfully. The other two sort of giggled nervously and walked inside with him.
Alright, time for his plan. The lovely DUUUUUUUUH stepped up to the counter - MAN, what a gorgeous ass! - and was about to order her food. b4mV would order soon after. G_B didn't want to delay his lovely lady from getting food, so he'd wait to call b4mV until after her order was made and the food was paid for. ...Alright, she was done. G_B made up a lame excuse ("I forgot my keys in the bathroom when I came here yesterday...but I also need to use the bathroom, so be right back"), and ran to the bathroom. He hurriedly pulled out his cellphone, but dropped it on the ground accidentally, directly into a puddle of urine. "Shit," he muttered, thinking of a slightly sanitary way to retrieve it. He finally wrapped his hands in paper towels and picked it up, setting it on the sink-top while trying to dry it off the best he could. He dialed b4mV's number (which he got not from actual friendship, but instead the Phone Number Thread in General Discussion), and patiently waited for him to pick up as he put the phone up to his ear. Aha, he picked up.
"Uh, helloo?" he started, unsure.
"Who the hell is this?" was the reply.
"*AHEM* ...Bamu, this is your mother! Come home right now!"
"Uh, that's not my name..."
"Yes, I know, but I've seen you logged onto that silly forum! Isn't that how you pronounce your log-in name or whatever it's called?"
"Why does your voice sound so scratchy, mom?"
"I have a cold, dear! Please come home so you can feed me and massage my sore feet!"
"Uhhh...but I'm at Taco Bell with some friends!"
"I SAID RIGHT NOW"
"Okay, mom...I'll be there in about an hour, I have to take the bus."
G_B quickly stuck his phone into his pants pocket and flushed the toilet next to him, just in case b4mV and DUUUUUUUUUUH started getting suspicious. He went back to the counter, only to see b4mV and DUUUUUUUUUH hugging. "Aww, leaving so soon?" G_B asked, with mock sympathy.
"How the hell did you know that I'm leaving?" b4mV asked, slightly confused. "...And also, why do you smell like pee?"
"Oh, uhh, I heard you guys talking because I stopped to pick up some trash after I used the bathroom. And stuff. So I found out that your mom has a cold and you're going to take care of her. And for the other part, well, uh, you don't wanna know."
"Well, uhh......okay. Bye!" b4mV said, still confused. He walked towards the door, giving a wave goodbye, and a sad look to DUUUUUUUUH that seems to have said "I'm sorry."
"Well, let's get started!" G_B exclaimed, his plan about to be set in motion...